Relief

2 days past full hysterectomy and I feel compelled to share my childless not by choice story:

I had stage 4 endometriosis, adenomyosis, and chronic salpingitis. We went through fertility treatments for a few years, at first being told to lose a little bit of weight, try temping to make sure you’re ovulating, calm down - the works. I did 6 rounds before deciding that I would not continue.

My husband and I made a decision that we would not go into debt to have a baby and that if it was supposed to happen it would happen. We talked about adoption & had people volunteer to surrogate for us, but didn’t feel incredibly led to do either of those things.

Well, I just had twenty years of endometriosis removed from my body. The inability to have a child now has me a little relieved. I feel like 8 years of what if’s and stress just magically disappeared.  

Do I feel a little disappointed?  Sure. 

Do I feel like a giant weight was lifted? Absolutely.

~Betsy Austen