A POST-ROE STORY

I’m going to tell you a personal story. If you’ve followed me for a while you know that I don’t usually do that, but I’m making an exception because last week was the 52nd anniversary of the Roe v Wade decision and let’s just say I’m in my feelings about it.

You don’t know this, but in my former life I was a singer. I wanted to be a rock star. It was in the early 2000’s. I would have been 32 or so. I was in a band with my then husband.

It was a fun time in my life, but then things got a lot less fun. My husband and I decided we wanted to start a family. So we began trying. And then, very unexpectedly, I found out something my ex had been keeping secret from me—something that meant the marriage had to end. Like, HAD to. I left with nothing and moved in with my dad.

And here’s the thing: Right after I left I realized–OMG. I might be pregnant with his baby. I can’t describe the panic and fear I felt. I remember telling my dad and the look of horror on his face. I remember waiting til enough time had gone by that I could take a pregnancy test.

I remember the huge sense of relief I felt when that test was negative.

But here’s the thing. I knew then that if I was pregnant I had options. I didn’t have to carry a pregnancy to term that no longer made sense if I didn't want to.

I didn't have to worry about being surveilled by the state I lived in. Or being charged with a crime. Or going to jail. My dad didn’t have to be afraid he’d be arrested for trafficking if he drove me to a clinic.

I took all of that for granted. We all did. It would never have occurred to us in a million years that anything else could ever be the case.

Of course in 2022 we found out differently.

Anyway. I didn't become a rock star. I did get to choose what happened with my body, though. I eventually remarried, and, when I was ready, I got to have the child I wanted. I’ve been so lucky that way.

But in this one huge way my 2000 self had it better. She was lucky in a way we just aren’t now.

Some memories just grow old and get tossed on a shelf. But other memories should never be allowed to gather dust.

And I will never stop talking about how crazy this moment is. You shouldn’t either.

-Jessica Craven @jessicacraven101